A Place To Walk In The Sun

8-25-2010
Day 174 of 365: Second week of English camp? Check. A week of vacation on a tropical isle (Jeju) with my sister? Check. Summer vacation officially over? Check. I was overjoyed that Uriah and Philip, and later my sister Beth and her friend Isela, came to visit me. It's more than I could have asked for when I made the decision to spend a year in South Korea. That being said, I am almost relieved that school is starting back up in a couple of days. This was the strangest, busiest, and in a weird way, most solitary 5 week summer vacation I've ever had.

Why was it strange? I can't quite put my finger on one specific reason, but would instead point out that there were so many funny/weird/strange experiences, mainly over the course of the 2 weeks that I had visitors, that they all added up together to make this impression on me when attempting to describe our time together. Just eating the living octopus with Uriah and Philip (last entry: The Boys Of Summer, Part 2) alone would qualify the summer as strange, but there were many other moments to back it up. I also think the flip-flopping weekly schedule (camp, vacation, camp, vacation, etc.) put me out of sorts a little bit. I'd want to be in vacation-mode during the weeks of camp, and then I'd find myself unwillingly switching into work-mode halfway through my vacation weeks, knowing I'd be back at school in a few days. I found myself always looking ahead instead of just enjoying the moment. Maybe I was just too busy.

Looking back, I realized that virtually every hour of every day of my summer schedule was planned out...by me. I wrote the lessons and made the plans for every day of my school's English camp. I planned and scheduled every trip, activity and site that we saw during the 2 weeks of vacation. In other words, there wasn't a day where I just sat back and thought to myself, "Let's just see what happens today". I was always at a tempo that was a little faster than Uriah and Philip, and a lot faster than Beth and Isela. Knowing they had a small window of time here and that they'd probably never have a chance to come back, I tried to fit as much in as possible. However, as far as I can tell, everyone who came had a great time (despite my madness at times), which is all that matters to me in the end.

This brings me to my aloneness (which is slightly different from loneliness). This may sound contradictory since I had so many visitors in a short amount of time. Other American English teachers were envious when they heard about my plans for the summer, but actually, it was hard to enjoy my guests being here, especially in the last couple of days of each visit, because I knew they'd soon be gone. Again, not living in the moment. I guess I need to work on that. In addition, several good friends I've made over the last 5 1/2 months have finished their teaching contracts and have recently gone back home to the United States. I feel like this has left a void in me that some might say God should fill, but right now I just want God to give me some friends to replace the ones who have departed. Needless to say I appreciate all my friends and loved ones back home much more these days and miss them dearly. Maybe I'll stop being such a wuss when school starts back up in 2 days and I'll have 700 youngsters to occupy me once again.